Thank you

Tonight I went to The Lucas' house for dinner. I go visit them knowing every time I leave I am a changed person. I love them. They are the best mentors a girl could ask for. They listen. They care. They are wonderful. Their advice or words are not always what I want to hear, but that is why I go back. Some of the truths in my life are hard to face and suppressed and they bring them out even when I feel I am not strong enough to deal with them or I don't have the desire too. At times I leave frustrated for I know I have work to do to get to the person I aspire to be. At times I leave motivated and refreshed. Tonight, I left with some self-actualization. What is important to me? Why do I always feel like I am in a battle with failure? My answers were complex and are not going to be easy to address. But, they opened my eyes to the solution I was overlooking. Christine, don't feel like God is taking away your talents and dreams. I use to think "God's Plan" for me was about the lamest thing imaginable. Why sit in the passenger's seat of your own life? I like control. I figured he would tell me something outlandish to do- Christine, forget your plans of dominating the business world and go be a clown in Thailand. But, the Lucas' brought it to my attention, He gave you these talents to succeed with, not to fail. Following Him and trusting His guidance does not mean you are foregoing your dreams. He will point you in the direction you are suppose to be. My constant agonizing over being unaccomplished or failing is not how God intended me to live. I shouldn't feel ashamed to achieve or afraid to try. His plan for me is there. I am the one that needs the changing.