My version of the CHRISTMAS LETTER

Hi Friends, Family, and People I don't know,


I have never allowed my mom to write up one of these. My reasons being who really cares about what is going on in our lives, we aren't young children anymore, and she is lacking in the writing department. I want to sound as cliche as I can in my inaugural Christmas Letter, so let me open with this. Wow, another year winding down. And what a year it was.

The year started as me being a junior at George Fox University in Newberg, Oregon. Never a fan of the school, I barely attended and instead filled my days with working at The Apple Store, Bridgeport Village and doing Bikram yoga (you know, the 107 degree, smelly, most amazing thing ever?!). I decided not to play golf, which was a tough and agonizing decision, but turned out for the best. I did turn 21. Woohoo. I am not a baby anymore. But, I do wish to stay at this age forever.

I was very fortunate to study abroad with a George Fox program to Italy. I travelled with, what was it again? 20 girls? I can't even remember. We left at the end of April and flew into Rome. Overall we visited 15 cities, plus other passerby cities- Rome, Pompeii, Sorrento, Positano, Capri, Orvieto, Assisi, Pisa, Cinque Terre, Bolzano, Florence, Venice, Moreno, Bureno, and Milan. My friend Ariel and I were treated like royalty (or treated like skanky girls, however you want to look at it) for our blonde hair. Which meant being cat called and grabbed at all times by the true to reputation, Italian men. We also got our share of train travel, expensive European prices, and gelato. Yes, it is true I got caught drinking in Italy. Now, I laugh and think of it as a Rite of Passage. I want 21, but my conservative college didn't care.  Seriously, great story and it was just the thing to send me over the edge to decide to leave George Fox. Oh and even better, yes, I did get kidney stones in Italy. I was struck with the most horrible nausea and pain one morning in Venice. After a few hours of visiting pharmacies and wrestling around with the idea of going to the hospital. My body finally brokedown in the lobby of a hotel, while I waited for the "water ambulance" to paddle and "wheel borrow" me to the island hospital. After finding out I didn't have appendicitis, the Italian only speaking doctors and staff released me and I rejoined the group in Milan. But, the freedom didn't last long. I made it too Milan long enough to stuff myself with pasta and then go home and regurgitate it all up as I spent the night thinking I was going to die. After two unsuccessful trips to the pharmacy, I gained control enough to walk to the hospital to find I had kidney stones. The Milanos took great care of me. I was termed, "The Americano." Sure, the whole situation sucked. I didn't eat for a few days thanks to the confusing dietician. I didn't get to shower for five days. The most technical machine they could offer was an ultra-sound, thanks to the European's negative views on radiation. But, finally I got a medical release to fly back to the states where I was readmitted to the hospital. Yay! The conclusion was I passed anywhere from 15-20 kidney stones in two weeks.

Upon return and recovery, I started working as the bar cart girl at Creekside Golf Club. Pretty cush summer job. Sun, booze, and friendly people. I also continued to work the summer away at Apple. Oh, and my baby brother graduated high school...awwwwwe.

I got to take a trip to Vegas this July. Loved it, but three days was enough.

I started dating a (I wish I could think of the perfect adjective to describe him, but I will settle) totally amazing guy named Chris. We met working together at Apple, but kinda funny that I didn't like him until the third time we hung out. I have so much fun with him, constantly smiling and laughing. I value his support, friendship, and incredible kindness so much. Along with his awesome music sense.  

During this time I made the decision to transfer from George Fox University to Oregon State University, keeping my major in Business Marketing. I moved down to Corvallis in late September, which concluded my 5 and a half month summer holiday. I live in a house with four other girls and it is going smoothly. Corvallis is a little bit of culture shock for me, being the low key, small, not close to any large metropolitan area that it is. But, I am dealing and it is nice to go to a large school and participate in things like football games, liberal classes, and sleeping until ten.

With all my free time in Corvallis, I have developed some new habits. I have become "clean." Besides the occasional laundry build-up, I have kept my room sanitized and organized. I have become quite the bookworm. I love the therapeutic and time-wasting capabilities of the Corvallis Public Library. I prefer nonfiction, but I do force myself to read a little fiction in there for the balancing affect. I also have become addicted to watching CW television. Laugh. Please laugh all you want, but there is something in my body, maybe a chemical imbalance, that craves Gossip Girl, Privileged, and One Tree Hill (in that order). Okay, once again, laugh. Please laugh.

Of course the term was not without its drama, as it never is with me. During my finals week I got kidney stones again and made a few visits to the hospital. Thats right, twice in six months. I passed about four kidney stones with the help of some very strong narcotics :) I took my finals all on Thursday and Friday, which was very frustrating. The grades I worked for dissolved pretty quickly, but circumstances are always present. I'll have to get my grades up to get into the "Pro School" now. But, I was more pissed that I missed selling my textbooks back!

Now, I am home. Enjoying time with the family as we are snow/iced in and isolated from the rest of the world up here on Summit Loop. I have acknowledged to myself once again that I hate when the snow comes to me. It is always and inconvenience. Hopefully, but doubtfully, it will pass soon. I still have to do some Christmas shopping!

Thanks for bearing with me as I express and get you up-to-date in my life. I will now conclude with a closing remark as cliche as my introduction. Here is too another great, eventful, hopefully graduation producing, loving, new year!

Happy Holidays!

Love,

Christine Marie Collier

Restless

Restless

: A state of emotional agitation

: With music

: With life

: Without you

Apathy

: Absence of emotion or enthusiasm

: With music

: With life

: Without you

Currently listening to: Nobody Knows me at All by The Weepies

I miss you

It really is my day of rest

I don't exactly have anything I want to talk about. But, it has been my typical Sunday. I finally got out of bed at 12:30 to go to the bathroom to then hop back into bed until 1:00. I did have some good music listening sessions thanks to Chris and the music he dumped into my iTunes. I watched some mindless television on my computer. Then I watched k9 cops attack criminals on Animal Planet with my roommates. Curled back in bed to write a paper later and then wandered off to the gym. Once I got home to some new cupcakes on the counter I demolished any progress I made at the gym with some halloween decorated yummy goodness. I caught up on my weekly dose of Post Secret and now I find myself bored and not willing to continue on my domestic drilling policy paper. So, I think I will continue to do nothing to complete my nothingness of a day. I love Sundays.

Currently Listening to: Empire State by Guster

Who needs soap operas when you can be the drama?

I got a glimpse of myself today running errands. First, I went to The Book Bin in search for the next book I want to read during my daily workouts. After feeling that I wasn't going to find my next book at The Book Bin I proceeded to Borders. At Borders I searched aimlessly for a title that appealed to me. After about thirty minutes I came to the conclusion that I must have a sort of disorder. You know, one where no book sounds like it could hold your interest for two pages? That must be a disorder, in my mind. I then gave myself the ultimatum. Choose a book now. The pressure got to me in about two minutes of frantically trying to find anything quickly. Following my brief panic attack I went with the more logically approach of resorting to sections of books that I have finished in the past year. I hit up the business section, the psychology section, and all the display "Fall Must Reads." Nothing. My depression started to set in. "What is wrong with me?" Then my anxiety, "How can I ever make a career decision if I can't even find a book that sounds interesting?" Slippery slope. After fighting negative thoughts, I thought, "Why isn't their a book that is written that is describing exactly how I feel right now?" I mean, don't people go through mini-melodramas at the bookstore like I am right now? Don't people question their life uncertainties and insecurities in the fiction isle? Don't people ever feel lost or claustrophobic in their brain and nothing seems to mask the symptoms? I guess not. If there is a book written about that please let me know. In the meantime, back to the bookstore. I was getting to the point of leaving with the intention of going home, researching books and then returning at a later time. It wasn't what I wanted to do, I wanted to find a book, but it was one of two alternatives that came to mind. The other was to contact someone and ask him for advice on what book I should buy. In hindsight I knew I wasn't going to get a recommendation. I know I need to find the book on my own. So, I turned down all of his grateful opinions and suggestions. They didn't seem right for me. I know me. My mind and body were getting exhausted. I would like to add I have had a long day prior to this, so that me becoming tired is not so dumb sounding to you. As I was headed for the door a book made its way to my eyes. The title I didn't care about, but the description of, "From the author of" did. I remembered seeing this author before. I went to the section to find a book he had written before and opened the foreword. I did not find the book I was hoping on my trip to the bookstore. I can't say for sure, because I haven't read it yet. But, I did find a book that seems to be as analytical and overanalyzing as me. The book is called, "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs." I'll let you know if I ever finish it. But, the bookstore did become like a tell-all book for me. I am on a quest to always find the perfect fit, the perfect future, the perfect balance of uniqueness and practicality. When I can't find it I become scared, hopeless, and self-defeating. I am going through my life so bound and determined to be great that I have become so afraid to fail to find what exactly I want to be great at.

"I'm excited. I promise."

Another year of school is about to start. I can't really claim it is my senior year since I will have to take at least one more term after it, but I guess there is nothing wrong with the five year plan. Except for I think I did something wrong to be on the five year plan. Oh yeah, thats right, I transferred twice.

In June I was really excited to go to Oregon State. Now I tell people I am excited, because thats what people like to hear. Really I think I could care less what school I am at right now. I will be thankful that this school is less expensive than the last two though. My careless attitude needs to change and I am hoping it will once I get down to Corvallis. I really need to buckle down and study, but I tell myself that every year. I'm not saying I am a bad student or that I am not student material. But, I think my schedule is always filled with such BS classes that is hard for me to get motivated about Biology 101 or Energy and Environment Conservation when I am a fourth year business marketing major.

It will be nice to go to a school that views being social as a positive thing. For those of you who didn't get my reference, that was a knock on George Fox.

I am not a very in the moment person right now. I am much more of a forward, future, big picture thinker. Today instead of moving into my house, I worried about what I am going to do when I graduate. How I am going to get into a top-tier graduate school? Whether or not I need to go to grad school? How am I going to succeed? It helps that I have a lot of supportive people around me. But, they obviously don't feel my pressure. My brain goes a hundred miles an hour thinking/analyzing everything. I need to pause it for a while and try and focus on the day-to-day tasks.

One other predominant thing I have been thinking about lately is timing. Timing is so important in life. Job opportunities, friendships, among many other things all rely on perfect timing. Situations are so relative to where we are at in our lives. I definitely have a situationjavascript:void(0) in mind when bringing this topic up. But, I am not really ready to discuss it yet. The most I would speak on its behalf is to say that sometimes it really sucks moving farther away from people I value in life.

Which brings me to another topic. I think I need to make more of an effort this Fall to visit the Lucas'. I feel I am in need of their amazing mentoring.

This concludes my evening rant. :)

ENTJ

My Myer Briggs Personality Indicator Results:

Extrovert

Intuitive

Thinking

Judging

Other ENTJ are FDR, Nixon, Steve Jobs, Steve Martin, Jim Carey, and Sean Connery.

ENTJs are natural born leaders.  They live in a world of possibilities where they see all sorts of challenges to be surmounted, and they want to be the ones responsible for surmounting them.  They have a drive  for leadership, which is well-served by their quickness to grasp complexities, their ability to absorb a large amount of impersonal information, and their quick and decisive judgements.

ENTJs are very career- focused.  They generally see things from a long-range perspective.  They have no patience with inefficiency.  

ENTJs love to interact with people.  

I can't decide if...

watching Lifetime movies on a Saturday night is considered lame.  But, then I realized I'm tired and the couch seemed like the only desirable spot.  

The movie is a biography on Coco Chanel.  I have always been intriqued by the woman I share initials with.  But, after being halfway through the film I have

 come to the discovery her and I share more than two simple letters.  Gabrielle "Coco" Chanel was a French woman, who chased her career and intuition.  She believed,  "Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only.  Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening."  She wasn't afraid to go against societal fashion norms and her ideas will forever impact the way we dress.  

Her personal life was just as unconventional.  She refused a marriage proposal because she did not wish to be dependent on anyone.  I can relate to her feelings on the topic.  I doubt I would take it to that extreme, but I definitely have the personality that cannot be tied down.  Who wants to answer to others all the time?  Maybe maturity will set in for me one day in this department.  But, then again maybe it won't and it will be okay, but different.  It seems like society has a timeline for all of us.  A timeline with 

expectations that are pressuring and intimidating.  As a young woman I feel I am expected to go to school, graduate on time, get a job, marry a guy, have some kiddos, make a good living, and be grateful for this life and the things I accomplished.  It is so disgusting to me that I can't take my time, enjoy my life, and choose my own path without displeasing others.  I guess what I really need to do is not care about other people's opinions.  That would make me just a little more like the legendary Coco Chanel.  

"In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different." - Coco Chanel