Having the Marble, Being the Sculptor

We have all heard of the couple who broke up because one or both of them needed to be single to find themselves.  In the past I have understood this as a valid reason.  In fact, I heavily avoided any relationship involvement for a number of years with the intent to "find myself."  I lived on my own, attempted to find my own faith, took up independent hobbies, worked to support myself, and reflected often.  Wasn't this the proper criteria to discover myself?  Seemed like that is what external sources like magazines and movies were telling me.  I am glad I did all these things, but none of them really helped me in my journey.  I don't want to sound like finding myself is a means to an end.  I fully understand we evolve with age and discovering yourself is a gift we get to keep opening for the rest of our lives.  But, there is a point where you start to uncover who you are, what you are good at, and what you want for your life.  And mine didn't come alone.  Although, I will say in contrast I am not speaking for everyone when I write this.  Other, more dependent people, might need their own time to figure our their identities.  But, for me, my identity was found the opposing way, since I had always been this "do-it-yourself" type.  It wasn't until I was in a healthy, committed relationship (I smile saying this) that I gained perspective, understanding and confidence in my life.  My ability to trust someone as much as I trust myself was a huge step for me.  I no longer have to go about things alone.  I can reveal my insecurities, fears and stresses to someone more supportive than I could ever treat myself.  It has always been one of my weaknesses to be too hard on myself, so it is so comforting to have an opinion I value as much as my own to believe in me.  Through these months I have learned just as much about myself as I have about my boyfriend.  This process has helped me become comfortable and balanced in who I am, learn what I want to do and believe in myself to achieve these things.  I am happy.  As I said before, having a partnership is not beneficial for everyone in adopting satisfaction in their lives.  Some need to be alone to internally reflect and gain a voice for themselves.  But, as I will conclude, don't think you HAVE to be alone.  Some of us need to let the RIGHT ones in to really learn about ourselves.